Understanding Masking

For many individuals, diagnosed or not, those with ADHD often engage in a behavior known as "masking". In short, masking is the behavior that those of us with ADHD engage in to hide our neurodivergent traits in an effort to present behaviors that mirror behaviors of others in order to fit in, or appear more "normal". On the surface, this may not seem like such a big deal, after all, don't we all want to fit in? There in lies the problem.

For those of us with ADHD, masking is a very taxing behavior. When we mask, we must be painstakingly mindful of not just our own behaviors, but others reactions to them both consciously and unconsciously. Imagine for a moment, that every behavior that came naturally to you was suddenly viewed as abnormal or disruptive. How would that affect the way you worked? The way that you maintained relationships with others? How you navigated the world day to day?

The act of masking is an exhausting activity. Often times individuals who are forced to mask can appear irritable and tired once they are able to take their mask off. This can cause issues interpersonally and with loved ones who may not be aware of their loved ones masking or how it impacts them. For many of us, we are not aware that we do this ourselves until we learn about this concept through therapy or research. Understanding this concept allows us to plan and navigate these situations more effectively. In addition, understanding masking and its effects on our lives can lead to greater understanding and empathy from others.

For those who have struggled feeling like they have no rive, or energy after work or social engagements, it can be transformative to be affirmed that there is a reason that this occurs, and more importantly, a way to plan for these moments in a way that is as effective as possible. By managing our social calendar, recognizing how you are effected at work or school, and identifying people and activities that allow you to be freely unmasked, we can learn to live more authentically and choose activities and individuals in our lives that serve as supports, not stressors.